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  #1  
Old 07-29-2010, 03:10 PM
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Location: Dirty South
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Default Joke thread

Hey all lets start a joke thread. Maybe to help those having a not so good day have a laugh. Let's try our best to keep it clean, and civilized...Here is a start...



During a visit to my doctor, I asked him, "How do you determine whether or not an older person should be put in an old age home?"
"Well," he said, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the person to empty the bathtub."
"Oh, I understand," I said. "A normal person would use the bucket because it is bigger than the spoon or the teacup."
"No" he said. "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want
a bed near the window?"
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"I'm often silent when I am screaming inside."

"How would you like to feel like a mushroom?"
Kept in the dark, and fed Shit all day?

The past no longer dictates me to the future. Everyday is a new day, and what is made of it is my choice.
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  #2  
Old 07-29-2010, 04:51 PM
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A white guy, a black guy, and a polish guy are working on a roof together. They sit down for lunch, the white guy opens his lunch sack. He says "A hot dog, if my wife packs me a hot dog for lunch again tomorrow... I'm jumping off this roof and killing myself." The black guy opens his lunch and says "Chicken, if my wife packs chicken in my lunch again tomorrow I'm jumping off this roof and killing myself." The polish guy opens his lunch and says "Polish Sausage, if I have polish Sausage in my lunch again tomorrow, I'm jumping off this roof and killing myself."

Well the next day at lunch, the white guy opens his lunch and says "A turkey sandwich, hurray I don't have to kill myself." The black guy opens his lunch and says "Ribs, hurray I don't have to kill myself." The polish guy opens his lunch and says "Damn, polish sausage again!" and then jumps off the roof and kills himself. The white guy and black guy both look at each other and say "Didn't he pack his own lunch?"
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  #3  
Old 07-29-2010, 04:56 PM
Resinfinger
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Greenhouse seed co.


LOL.
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  #4  
Old 07-29-2010, 04:58 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Resinfinger View Post
Greenhouse seed co.


LOL.
What you don't want to try some of Arjan's ten billion self named strains? LOL
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  #5  
Old 07-29-2010, 05:11 PM
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what do you call a fish with no eye's?

Fsh

lol , love it sorta doesnt work as well when you write it down
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Poppa's Garden
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  #6  
Old 07-29-2010, 05:56 PM
Resinfinger
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"Hello, is this the FBI?" "Yes, what do you want?" "I'm calling to report my neighbor Billy Bob Smith! He is hidingmarijuana inside his firewood." "Thank you very much for the call, sir." The next day, the FBI agents descend on Billy Bob's house. They searchthe shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they bust open everypiece of wood, butfind no marijuana. They swore at Billy Bob and left. The phone rings at Billy Bob's house. Hey, Billy Bob! Did the FBI come?" "Yeah!" "Did they chop your firewood?" "Yep." "Happy Birthday, Buddy!"
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  #7  
Old 07-29-2010, 06:32 PM
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Location: Dirty South
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Default haha

Keep em' comming friends...

Ouchie your wrong...10billion, and one named after him. I think mns has one named after him too. SHIT maybe...lol
__________________
"I'm often silent when I am screaming inside."

"How would you like to feel like a mushroom?"
Kept in the dark, and fed Shit all day?

The past no longer dictates me to the future. Everyday is a new day, and what is made of it is my choice.
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  #8  
Old 07-29-2010, 06:41 PM
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Location: US. Mid Atlantic
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One of my younger days but still my favorite...


What do you get when you cross a rhino and an elephant ?

elephino.
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Sit back and hold your breath, just let nature take effect A warm glow inside my bones The touch of velvet rubbed against my soul Thoughts of things you've always known Thoughts of things you've always known Break through and listen, to yourself.
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  #9  
Old 07-30-2010, 02:24 PM
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Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Dirty South
Posts: 1,157
Default Poen of Contradiction

One bright day in the middle of the night
Two dead boys got up to fight
Back to back they faced each other
Drew their swords, and shot each other
The deaf policeman heard the noise
And came and shot the two dead boys
If you don't believe this lie is true
Ask the blind man he saw it too
__________________
"I'm often silent when I am screaming inside."

"How would you like to feel like a mushroom?"
Kept in the dark, and fed Shit all day?

The past no longer dictates me to the future. Everyday is a new day, and what is made of it is my choice.

Last edited by noshow; 07-30-2010 at 02:24 PM. Reason: I meant poem...not poen...lol
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  #10  
Old 07-30-2010, 02:54 PM
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Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Dirty South
Posts: 1,157
Default Poem of contradictions

One bright day in the middle of the night
Two dead boys got up to fight
Back to back they faced each other
Drew their swords, and shot each other
The deaf policeman heard the noise
And came and shot the two dead boys
If you don't believe this lie is true
Ask the blindman he saw it too

OOOps sorry for the repost I thought it didn't go thru....
__________________
"I'm often silent when I am screaming inside."

"How would you like to feel like a mushroom?"
Kept in the dark, and fed Shit all day?

The past no longer dictates me to the future. Everyday is a new day, and what is made of it is my choice.

Last edited by noshow; 07-30-2010 at 02:55 PM. Reason: screw up
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