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  #471  
Old 04-30-2017, 04:25 PM
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What do you call a black man on the moon?






An astronaut you fucking racist.





So much for me being lady like.
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  #472  
Old 04-30-2017, 04:26 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by peizhi59fli View Post
Spring-fresh bags to have and tote all season. Make a grab for a cool clutch, luxe tote or street-savvy satchel for your day-to-night needs. A smart shoulder bag or classic hobo will set you up for the long haul.
Collecting handbags, when done well, can arguably be considered an art form. In homage to that, here are the 10 bags every woman should have in her closet? get your check list started.
We've been dreaming of Michael Kors bags, Mulberry satchels, Topshop totes and gorgeous Christian Louboutin bags. Drool over our dreamy top 50 shopping list... Make a fashion wish, quick!
It's hard to describe the look: it's sporty, polished, modern, but always laid-back. Diane von Furstenberg's khaki suits with their 70's working girl sway; Calvin Klein's fluid ease, and, of course, Michael Kors who's sunny Park Avenue polish looked more alluring than ever.
Accessorise in style with Cosmo's pick of the hottest high street arm candy. From totes to clutches and satchels to shoulder bags we've got a super-stylish handbag for you!
Sexy stylish bags aren't just for our days off, you know! Whether it's a flash of colour or a bitta bling, these work totes have all got something a little different about them. Add some fashion to your 9-to-5, stat!
We've had bananas, palm trees and pineapples (the latter of which has not lost its punch just yet), and now the fashion world is into cacti. It began with Kenzo, who gave them an abstract twist. Then came Markus Lupfer's take - cartoonish, bold prints that decorated cami tops, A-line skirts and jumpers. Dolce & Gabbana's recent menswear show was Western-themed, so naturally suits and zip-up jackets featured cacti motifs.
So why are cacti so popular now? Visually, they're impactful - bold,michael kors handbags outlet, bright and instantly recognisable. They conjure up images of Western films, as well as iconic cartoons such as Speedy Gonzales and Looney Tunes. They're also weirdly phallic, but maybe I'm reading too much into it.
The motif translates well on the high street - Topshop's cacti print shirt will look great with high-waisted shorts or jeans, while Mango's cactus straw bag is a strong addition to any holiday wardrobe.
When I decided to give up my cozy Brooklyn apartment, quit my job at a fashion magazine, and join my husband on a year-long national tour of a Broadway show, we put everything we owned in storage except for the two bags we?d each take with us. I knew that figuring out what to pack would be hard, but I assumed that it wouldn?t be impossible.
Deciding what to bring and what to leave behind, however, proved to be an ordeal. Eliminating more items when I actually packed my bag was even tougher. And, you guessed it, doing one last cull when I tried to zip it was the toughest yet. In the end, I?m proud to say I pulled together an incredibly edited list of essentials, making every item count.
Here?s the biggest personal fashion rule that I had to learn how to break: dressing for the occasion. For me, a sun-soaked L.A. wardrobe required an entirely different look than a Hamptons getaway (despite similar climates). And what about when I?m crossing through California in November and Salt Lake City in December? Attending after-parties but also hitting the hiking trails? Whatever high-maintenance habits I?d been holding onto would have to be left behind.
Ultimately, after what felt like years of packing and purging, I realized the secret to life on the road lies in balancing the practical with the purposeful, statement styles with everyday essentials. And only the strong survive. I had three criteria: Is it versatile enough to mix and match with many outfits? Will it hold up in a variety of cities, climates, and landscapes? And do I love it? Because when you?re pressed for space, there?s no room for the so-so stuff.
I?ll have one opportunity (one!) in January to turn over my fall go-tos for a few winter essentials, but this first round has to go the distance. Literally. Not including a toothbrush, undies, and other less-exciting necessities, these are the 17 style essentials that made the cut.
Sounds like spam not a joke.
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  #473  
Old 04-30-2017, 09:45 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mogie View Post
Sounds like spam not a joke.
I think it may be haiku, if i'm not mistaken...
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  #474  
Old 04-30-2017, 10:12 PM
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LOL

I thought it was just some crazy rambling by a spammer. I don't understand what the message is supposed to be.
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Today's music doesn't have the same soul
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  #475  
Old 05-21-2017, 01:40 AM
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How do they know that each Tickle Me Elmo doll is male?







They all get two test tickles before leaving the factory.
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Today's music doesn't have the same soul
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  #476  
Old 06-28-2017, 04:11 AM
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Originally Posted by serenasandra View Post
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Worst joke in the entire thread.
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  #477  
Old 06-28-2017, 04:37 AM
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Do you know why a hillbilly fucks a sheep facing down a cliff?

Because she just keeps pushing back.

Sorry I live in the mountains where the men are men and the sheep are scared.

You know why hillbillies wear them tall boots? So you can stick the sheep's hind legs in your boots. Lol

I know I had more sheep fucking jokes. I thought we were the only ones I found an Australian one. Lol

what ya call an Australian with 50 sheep?
PIMP

Where does virgin wool come from?

Fast sheep.
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  #478  
Old 06-28-2017, 03:28 PM
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Someone has a sheep fetish! Lock your barn doors.
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  #479  
Old 06-28-2017, 03:37 PM
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Quote:
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Someone has a sheep fetish! Lock your barn doors.
LMAO, I was feeling a little sheepish.
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  #480  
Old 06-29-2017, 03:26 PM
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ROFL Good one.
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