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  #21  
Old 10-15-2010, 02:39 AM
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The Two Aliens

Two aliens landed in the Arizona desert near a gas station that was
closed for the night. They approached one of the gas pumps and the
younger alien addressed it saying, "Greetings, Earthling. We come in
peace. Take us to your leader."

The gas pump, of course, didn't respond.

The younger alien became angry at the lack of response.

The older alien said, 'I'd calm down if I were you.'

The younger alien ignored the warning and repeated his greeting. Again,
there was no response.

Pissed at the pump's haughty attitude, he drew his ray gun and said
gruffly, "Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Take us to your
leader or I will fire!"

The older alien again warned his comrade saying, 'You probably don't
want to do that! I really think that will make him mad.'

'Rubbish,' replied the cocky, young alien. He aimed his weapon and
opened fire. There was a huge explosion. A massive fireball roared
towards him and blew the younger alien off his feet and threw him in a
burnt, smoking mess about 200 yards away in a cactus patch.

Half an hour passed. When he finally regained consciousness, he
refocused his three eyes, straightened his bent antenna, and looked
dazedly at the older, wiser alien who was standing over him shaking his
big, green head.

'What a ferocious creature!' exclaimed the young, fried alien. 'He damn
near killed me! How did you know he was so dangerous?'

The older alien leaned over, placed a friendly feeler on his crispy
friend and replied, 'If there's one thing I've learned during my
intergalactic travels, you never mess with a guy who can loop his penis
over his shoulder twice and then stick it in his ear.'
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  #22  
Old 10-15-2010, 05:44 PM
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I don't laugh to much, but got a good chuckle from that one Moose. It has been a longtime, but I've hears that before. Damn funny joke. Wish I could wrap my pecker around my shoulder lime that. Damn I just keep tripping over it. Well I guess I'll never get it in my ear...lol...Ns
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  #23  
Old 10-15-2010, 10:18 PM
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Quote:
'If there's one thing I've learned during my
intergalactic travels, you never mess with a guy who can loop his penis
over his shoulder twice and then stick it in his ear.'
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Hilarious! Of course, my penis has never been the same after growing heritage broccoli.
N.
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  #24  
Old 10-15-2010, 10:38 PM
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I know the problem reagading looping your dick....Same happend one early morning at my summer house,i've just looped my Anaconda in the outdoor sink to give him a good washing..scrubbing away i hear my old neighbour jelling..that was a big one..looks like a snake.....well i just said,this is nothing, he always shrinks when i have to wash him in COLDWATER...
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Do everything in moderation,even moderation.God bless...//BLB51


Choose Positive
People,places,events just "are".
They have no meaning until YOU give them meaning.
You choose how to react to it and what it will mean to you.
Good,bad,beautiful,ugly,indiffrent.You choose.
Why choose negative when you can just as easily choose posistive?
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  #25  
Old 10-15-2010, 10:41 PM
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Nevil is my age and he would remember the little ditty on the one eyed trouser snake - The Adventures of Barry McKenzie

Typical of bawdy ballads, "One-eyed trouser snake" is an Aussie sexual boasting song:

Come all you little sheilas
And listen to me song
The moral of the trouser snake
Is short as it is long
Beware of imitations
Don't lock your bedroom door
When my pyjama python bites you
You'll be screaming out for more.


The other function of the one-eyed trouser snake comes into play at the end of Adventures when Bazza's mates extinguish a television studio fire by urinating on it while simultaneously singing the song and drinking copious amounts of Foster Lager to maintain an adequate supply of urine.

Last edited by Smokin Moose; 10-15-2010 at 10:46 PM.
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  #26  
Old 10-15-2010, 11:06 PM
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Default hahaha

I guess it's the older guys here with all of the good humor...like aged cheese..A fine wine...It gets better with time maybe?...Ns
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"I'm often silent when I am screaming inside."

"How would you like to feel like a mushroom?"
Kept in the dark, and fed Shit all day?

The past no longer dictates me to the future. Everyday is a new day, and what is made of it is my choice.
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  #27  
Old 10-24-2010, 05:11 PM
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What do you call a gay guys balls????????????????????









MUD-FLAPS

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  #28  
Old 10-31-2010, 03:36 AM
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What the 1st thing to go through a Fly's mind when it hit a car window? his asshole / whats a grasshopper with aids ? asshopper
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  #29  
Old 10-31-2010, 03:44 AM
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what do a turtles and Blonde women have in common ? they both are helpless when there on their Backs.
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  #30  
Old 10-31-2010, 05:00 AM
Kangativa
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Check this out



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9gCCjFbFXn8
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