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  #11  
Old 07-30-2010, 04:17 PM
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Location: Eire
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Default

Crawled into bed one really bad winters night bout 3am and very stoned,just fallin asleep when there was a knock at the door.
It was some bloke drenched to the skin with no jacket on,will ya give me a push he says,
fuck off i said and went back to bed where my wife gave out stink and told me to go help him that it could be me looking for a push some night.so out i went into the dark wet nite and said ok ill give ya a push where are ya?
over here on the swings he says.
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  #12  
Old 07-30-2010, 04:20 PM
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a young bull and an old bull standing on top of a hill looking down on a herd of cows,
the young bull says lets run down there and ride one of those cows,
the old bull says,lets walk down and ride them all!
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  #13  
Old 07-30-2010, 04:54 PM
jaybutta
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Wink Same Joke (Texas Version)

Quote:
Originally Posted by alecky View Post
a young bull and an old bull standing on top of a hill looking down on a herd of cows,
the young bull says lets run down there and ride one of those cows,
the old bull says,lets walk down and ride them all!
You told my joke...and you told it wrong...

A pappa bull and his son are walking through a valley...they get to the top of a
hill and when they look down they see a herd of cows...baby bull says "pappa,
pappa, let's run down there and fu-k one of those cows"...pappa bull says,
"No, son...let's walk down there and fu-k them all."
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  #14  
Old 07-31-2010, 03:44 PM
amathystbuddah's Avatar
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Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Trying to Land Safely
Posts: 314
Default Doctor Joke after the style of Tommy Cooper

Went to the doctor the other day
The doctor says "Hello Tommy, Ive not seen you in a while"
"No", I says"Ive not been well!"

Actually by Phil Cornwell on Stella Street
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  #15  
Old 09-16-2010, 09:31 PM
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Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Dirty South
Posts: 1,159
Default haha

Two old ladies were outside their nursing home, having a smoke,when it started to rain.
One of the ladies pulled out a condom, cut off the end and put it over her cigarette, and continued smoking.
Lady 1: What's that?
Lady 2: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet.
Lady 1: Where did you get it?
Lady 2: You can get them at any drugstore.
The next day, Lady 1 hobbles herself into the local drugstore and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms. The guy, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of strangely she is, after all, over 80 years of age, but very delicately asks what brand she prefers.
Lady 1: Doesn't matter son, as long as it fits a Camel.

The pharmacist
fainted
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"I'm often silent when I am screaming inside."

"How would you like to feel like a mushroom?"
Kept in the dark, and fed Shit all day?

The past no longer dictates me to the future. Everyday is a new day, and what is made of it is my choice.
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  #16  
Old 09-16-2010, 10:12 PM
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Exclamation Disclaimer: This is rather graphic and can be offensive :)

So it's a friday night and a daughter wants to borrow her dads truck, so she ask him 'dad can i borrow the truck?' 'Sure honey' he replies 'but you know what you have to do.' 'But dad, i have to leave now' the girl cried. The father stood up and unzipped his pants and said "Now you know what you have to do to borrow the truck." So since she wanted the truck so bad she got down and started sucking him off, after a few seconds she stopped. "Dad, your cock taste like shit." she exclaimed,

'Oh yeah, I forgot i just loaned the truck to your brother
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Sit back and hold your breath, just let nature take effect A warm glow inside my bones The touch of velvet rubbed against my soul Thoughts of things you've always known Thoughts of things you've always known Break through and listen, to yourself.
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  #17  
Old 09-24-2010, 01:45 AM
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Location: The Land Of Oz
Posts: 1,234
Default Nuns

3 nuns walkin down the street ,a flasher jumps out and opens his overcoat .2 nuns had a stroke whilst the other couldn`t quite reach it !
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  #18  
Old 09-24-2010, 02:49 AM
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A young brunette goes into the doctor's office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it.

"Impossible," says the doctor. "Show me."

She takes her finger and pushes her elbow and screams in agony. She pushes her knee and screams, pushes her ankle and screams and so on it goes.

The doctor says, "You're not really a brunette are you?"

She says, "No, I'm really a blonde."

"I thought so," he says. "Your finger is broken."
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Fishing Lures Catch more Fishermen than Fish
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  #19  
Old 09-24-2010, 03:34 PM
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Default a joke

I have debated over telling this joke. So I will wrote this disclaimer. It can be offensive. It is not racist, or anything like that. Yet if anyone does find it offensive. Please shoot me a pm, and I will remove it. I have tried to think of how to change most words so here goes...



A man, and woman were riding in an elevator.
The man leans over, and sniffs a couple times very loudly...
He says...Excuse me ma'am can I smell your p***y?
She says....Hell NO...
The man the proclaims...Damn it must be your feet then...
__________________
"I'm often silent when I am screaming inside."

"How would you like to feel like a mushroom?"
Kept in the dark, and fed Shit all day?

The past no longer dictates me to the future. Everyday is a new day, and what is made of it is my choice.
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  #20  
Old 10-15-2010, 01:56 AM
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Default Little Johny

Multi media joke http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B9q2j...ayer_embedded#!
Puberty an other topics
Elmer Bud .
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