Joke thread

n2ishun

Well-known member
*borrowed* from another site.

* My tolerance for idiots is extremely low today. I used to have some immunity built up, but obviously there is a new strain out there.

* As I watch this generation try and rewrite our history, one thing I am sure of... it will be misspelled and have no punctuation.

* Me: Sobbing my heart out, "I cannot see you anymore...I am not going to let you hurt me again.”
Trainer: "Are you certain? It was only one sit-up.”

* Sorry, I haven't done anything today. I've been in the Produce Department trying to open this stupid plastic bag.

* Turns out that being a “Senior" is mostly just googling how to do stuff.

* Do you ever get up in the morning, look in the mirror and think, "That can't be accurate?”

* I want to be 14 again and ruin my life differently. I have some new ideas.

* Teacher: Give me a sentence which includes the words: defense, defeat, detail.
Student: When a horse jumps over defense, defeat go first.....and then detail.

* God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the world. Then he made the earth round...and laughed and laughed and laughed.

* I am on two diets. I wasn't getting enough food on one.

* Apparently RSVPing to a wedding invitation, "Maybe next time," is not the correct response.

* I put my scale in the bathroom corner and that's where the little liar will stay until it apologizes.

* Felt uncomfortable driving into the cemetery. The GPS blurted out, "You have reached your final destination."

* My mind is like an internet browser. At least 19 open tabs; three of them are frozen, and I have no clue where the music is coming from.

* Hard to believe I once had a phone attached to a wall, and when it rang, I picked it up without knowing who was calling, and I'm still alive.
 

BenPlantin

Active member
* As I watch this generation try and rewrite our history, one thing I am sure of... it will be misspelled and have no punctuation.

* Teacher: Give me a sentence which includes the words: defense, defeat, detail.
Student: When a horse jumps over defense, defeat go first.....and then detail.
hahaha this reminds me when I was 11, our teacher asked the class to write up 10 words for the week to improve our spelling.... my new words to learn and spell correctly were something like this...

1. Jews
2. Jew
3. Jewing
4. Gum
5. In
6. Jerusalem
7. On
8. Jewsdays

I cannot remember 9 and 10 but thought it was pretty funny at 11 years of age to provide my teacher with a riddle and rhyme of a spelling list that was made up of complete and utter bollocks, mis-spellings, and simple words a two year old kid would know.

My teacher had no sense of humor.
 
Top