how I do it
I hang for a week to 10 days in a dark cupboard with the doors open a crack on either end and a fan blowing in the room outside. After this (in my weather at least) the stems are snappable, they go into jars for...well I include the drying time in the curing time - so if they hung for 2 weeks they'll jar for 2, if they hung for 1 they'll jar for 3.
Burp jars daily at first and would also suggest once a day just gently empty the jars out onto newspaper or plastic and pull apart any buds stuck together and then put them back in, it helps to rotate them around a bit, to stop any chance of mold getting in between them etc. after the first 10 days to 2 weeks you can probly burp a bit less, just be alert for mold - it really blows to lose months of work to mold cos you didn't bother checking between the buds when you burped etc!
I find this method gets them to just the point I consider "al-dente" - so they snap apart into smaller buds in my fingers with very little pressure, but SNAP is the operative word, never crumble. It has to be a satisfying snap.
This is just how *I* do it. I can't remember how other people say they do it, but like most people if I find something easy that works I tend not to change it much.